This is a long post. I won’t apologize. Sometimes it takes time to say things that need to be said. So please, make a cup of tea, or read it in pieces, because I want you to know and live who you are. You are needed.
Lately, both in my work with my clients here at Monarch Trancework, as well as in my work as the Spiritual Health Coordinator at Victoria Hospice I have been witnessing levels of distress, burnout, and fatigue that I have never seen before in my life. I have to admit that at times I too have been feeling at the edge – tired, angry and under-resourced – and I consider myself a person who has spent a great deal of my life cultivating powerful tools to deal with stress, unpleasant emotions, and difficult situations.
My life is one in which deep contemplation about the matter at hand plays a central role, and recently some insights have been bubbling to the surface. I have begun to act on these insights, and it is helping. I hope that by writing some of them down, they might help you too.
When COVID first began, we knew very little about it – where it came from, how it was spread, what the impact on an individual could be, and what the impact on our lives and society would be – nor for how long. Most people I knew (myself included) regarded the ever-changing guidelines and restrictions as inconveniences and obstacles, and set about finding ways that we could continue to do our important work amidst - and in spite of - the limitations that had been imposed.
I’ve come to believe that underlying my thinking, and the thinking of many - was a core belief that this was a short-term problem, and that at some point it would be over, and we could all return to doing business as usual.
Now, we are more than two years into the COVID pandemic, and we certainly haven’t returned to anything like how it was before 2020.
Looking forward through a lens of what I’ve come to know about the situation, the deep understanding that there will be no going back… ever… has started to land for me.
After having some conversations with people who are much better versed than I in immunology, the structure and behaviour of viruses, and the technology of vaccines, my understanding has been largely validated. The COVID virus is complex enough, and transmittable enough, and mutates quickly enough, that the technology we have available cannot offer a preventative vaccine.
This means that what we are seeing now is very likely to be what we will be seeing for the foreseeable future.
That’s a stark truth, so please take a moment and allow that to settle in.
For myself, I’ve come to realize that the premise upon which I have in some ways based my life, relationships, and work over the past two years is an illusion. The illusion that if I can just make it through these hard times until this has been dealt with, I’ll be fine.
The understanding that these hard times are the “new normal” changes things entirely.
For most of us, “keeping on” has meant that we’ve needed to hustle harder; doing the work we did before, learning new technologies, creating new ways to do the same work, inventing ways to mitigate the change and compensate for the impact that not being in-person has had on the work that we do.
This means that for most of us, the time, energy, and effort that we’ve been putting into our work has gone way up. Many of us haven’t honestly accounted for the differences, because so often they are made up of innumerable tiny shifts in practices, time use, and life. These tiny shifts add up to a huge change that has been added onto our daily tasks, which for many were too much to carry… even before COVID.
At the same time, some very fundamental aspects of life that provide meaning, pleasure, and enjoyment have been reduced, complicated, or eliminated entirely. Time with family, travel, a conversation at a café, dating, Spiritual practice, and engaging in any kind of community have been made more expensive, more complicated, and in some cases impossible. As a simple example; yes, a person could still travel, but there are extra costs, extra tests, and if by any chance you are infected with COVID, you may need to miss more work, or possibly be stuck wherever you are - unable to return home.
In short, overall enjoyment of life has gone down drastically over the past two years. I don’t personally know anyone that wouldn’t agree; and I don’t mean just “this isn’t fun anymore” but also the deeper “am I able to fulfill what I’m here to do at a soul level”.
So, what is a person to do? What am I to do?
Well, to start with, I recommend making some changes. The first and most fundamental is a change of mind. For me this means accepting the simple fact that this… how things are, now, today… may very well be the best circumstances that we will see for many years to come.
The second step is to pause, take a breath, and ask yourself; “if this is how the world is going to be for the rest of my life, how do I want to go about living that life?”
Am I working or focusing on work more that I want to?
Is my health (biological, spiritual, mental, emotional, social) deteriorating?
What time and resources do I need to put in place to thrive?
Are my relationships being nurtured and attended to?
Do I feel connected to community in a reciprocal relationship? ie. am I being cared for and caring for others?
Am I enjoying – really living my life?
Each and every one of us would do well to stop and look at what we are doing. How much of what we are doing is based on just hanging on until…?
I ask myself, “In the world as it is, what do I have the power and control to change in my life so that I feel like I am living more fully?”
It isn’t a matter of more distraction, more avoidance, or more accumulation.
It’s a matter of getting clear on what you are here, on this planet, and in this life to bring into existence. Clarifying and stepping into what Bill Plotkin calls your “ecological niche”.
Each of us has old wounds from our past, habits, and response patterns that at one time may have very well saved our lives – but now – they repeatedly trip us up, or loop us into repeating cycles that take us exactly nowhere.
So many of us have become disconnected with the Earth, the lands that we stand upon and are nourished by, and from our own most deeply held skills, talents and calling.
I want to invite you to step into who you are, to clarify your reciprocal relationships with our beautiful Earth, and with your own community and family. I want to challenge you to dare to be the person you were meant to be, in this world, at this time. Because you are needed. Your contribution is important.
Does that sound like a lot of work? Well, I won’t lie to you – it will be; but you are already working yourself to death – sometimes just to look busy, or so that you don’t have to stop and look around at where you are.
It involves getting to know yourself as yourself - what has shaped you, what has wounded you, and the ways that as a young person without a lot of support, or knowledge, or experience - you somehow managed to create ways to get by, to survive, and to avoid physical, emotional, and Spiritual pain. It involves reviewing these responses and coping mechanisms to explore which ones still serve your souls purpose, and which need to be released, updated, or healed. This is the work of the middle world.
It involves coming to experience yourself as a part of this vast cosmos. Inseparably intermingled with the functioning of everything, supported by all that is – and deeply wanted and needed by all that is. Not just to make widgets, not just to fill a gap in the market economy – but to offer your unique and precious gifts to our world for the benefit of all beings. This is the work of the upper world.
It involves uncovering and recovering what those gifts are, peeling away layers of what you’ve been told to be by your parents, by your culture, by your society – and starting to listen, learning to listen to the unique and unprecedented music of your own soul. This is the lower world.
This is the work. Journeying through and becoming a resident of the middle world, the upper world, and the lower world.
If this is something that you are serious about engaging in, please know that while each of us has our own unique journey, you don’t have to go it alone. There are people that can help you, support you, and act as guides and mentors. I am one of these people.
Please consider your life, and your journey.
Whether or not you choose to work with me is of less importance to me than that you choose to do the work; that you choose to live your life – fully, completely, and deeply. Our world needs you.
Blessings on your Way.
Eshu