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Under the Influence - Niki Martin RCH

Under the Influence - Niki Martin RCH

While taking deliberate and planned moments to teach or impart something important to your child is wonderful, it’s equally vital that parents understand that they are teaching and imparting coping strategies, values and priorities at all times simply by living.

I’m not suggesting that parents be perfect.  I am suggesting that if parents take the time to identify the areas in which their own parents may have influenced them in limiting or no longer useful ways, they will be role modelling from a place of intention and self awareness. 

You Aren’t Broken! - Eshu Martin

You Aren’t Broken! - Eshu Martin

Nothing burns my biscuits more than when a new client comes for a consultation and I am informed that they have been told by a previous therapist/counsellor/practitioner that they are “resistant”, or “beyond help”, or that they “don’t really want to get better”.

If you have gone for help to a so called “professional” and they have said any variation of this to you, I want you to know this… you are not the problem. You are not broken. Their failure to help you is their failure - not yours.

Fear, Shame, and Money - Eshu Martin

Fear, Shame, and Money - Eshu Martin

It’s amazing how well people can survive, even when they are entirely avoiding conversations about money. A person can find careers that will help them justify your avoidance - in paths like Spirituality, Religion, Social Services, and Arts. A person can build entire communities with other people that carry the same kind of shame and self-doubt and feel totally justified in doing so… and I did… all of it… really well!

It’s entirely possible to survive with a maladaptive belief – but it is nearly impossible to thrive.

Forget The Answers, Do You Have The Right Questions? - Niki Martin

Forget The Answers, Do You Have The Right Questions? - Niki Martin

How do we raise our children to grow up feeling competent and capable?

I think the answer lies somewhere in asking questions, curious and specific questions that give us more information about our children’s experience of the world around them. It’s all too easy, as a parent, to think we need to have all the answers. May I suggest you forget the answers and ask lots of questions?

Victoria, BC - NLP Practitioner Certification with Harry Nichols, NLP Master Trainer and founder of Thought Models*

Victoria, BC - NLP Practitioner Certification with Harry Nichols, NLP Master Trainer and founder of Thought Models*

What Is Neurolinguistic Programming?

Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a way to change human experience and behaviour.

The world each of us thinks about is not the “real” world. It is a world limited to what we are able to perceive though our five senses, and our perception is immediately filtered through our individual past experiences. Perception (Neuro)

We interpret, describe, and give meaning to what we perceive using language – both when we describe it to others, and to ourselves. Interpretation (Linguistic)

Based on this meaning, we respond in habitual ways. Habitual Response (Programming)

This cycle happens very quickly, and it happens below conscious awareness (subconscious).

By becoming aware of the process, and changing any link in the chain (perception-interpretation-habit), a person can dramatically alter their perception and experience of the world.

What are we going to do now? - Niki Martin

What are we going to do now? - Niki Martin

As parents (especially of young children), we’re often given multiple opportunities to react to something unexpected, even undesirable and, quite often, messy. Lipstick being used like a marker, flour being sprinkled like snow, and the list goes on and on….

The first words out of your mouth and the initial look on your face is crucial to the beliefs being built in your child’s subconscious. Wouldn’t it be useful to have a comment at the ready that is thoughtful and empowering? Wouldn’t it be useful to buy yourself a quick minute to regain a sense of calm without laying guilt or shame or worry on your child?

BE CURIOUS. ASK QUESTIONS. ACCEPT THE ANSWERS. - Niki Martin

BE CURIOUS. ASK QUESTIONS. ACCEPT THE ANSWERS. - Niki Martin

Scientific discoveries, inventions, learning to walk and talk, gaining self awareness, taking up a new hobby, deepening a relationship, making a new friend -  all have seeds in curiosity. Being curious is fundamental to being human and yet, as we age, I feel that we learn (in one way or another) how to ignore our curious nature and we begin accepting the status quo. How would your life change if you approached your parenting or your marriage or your friendships or your occupation with more curiosity?